Perfect parent moments

Jackson is 14 weeks old, and I am loving this age! There are a million perfect sweet little moments that I never want to forget.  I these are the moments that make all the craziness worth it.  I'm sure lots of moms have had these moments, plus a ton of their own.  And if you aren't a mom yet, then you have some amazing things to look forward to!

Giggles!  Making Jackson laugh, and even better watching Mark and Jack laughing together.  Seriously the sweetest thing!  It's like watching them fall in love, and there is no better sight or sound in the world.  

In the morning, when Jack wakes up, I hear him babbling on the monitor, then I go into his room to get him and he smiles at me.  He stares at me and then a big slow smile spreads across his face and my day is off to a great start.  I swear with that little smile it's like he's saying "Oh hi mom! I'm so excited that you're here!"  Seriously the best first moment to wake up to.

Almost hugs.  I don't think he quite knows he's doing it, but when I pick him up and he grabs my arm and rests his head on my shoulder or burrows into my neck, its like he'd giving me the perfect little baby hug.  And it makes me melt!

As he gets bigger I know the times when he sleeps in my arms will decrease.  So even though I'm trying to teach him to fall asleep on his own and sleep in his bed so I can actually get things done, there are still times he falls asleep on me.  And I love it.  That moment where he totally relaxes, open mouth and snoring with his arm resting on my chest, I feel so special.  That this little boy is mine and he trusts me and loves me and feels the most comfortable when i'm holding him.  Such a wonderful feeling.

Watching him learn is one of the coolest experiences of being a parent.  Seeing him work on his hand-eye coordination, or recognize faces or objects, trying to learn to roll over and how proud he is when I help him and he ends up on his back or belly.  I am so honored to help form this little boys brain, and its so awesome to watch.

Breast feeding has been a great experience since he was born but especially now I find the enjoyment in it.  It can be a difficult road for mom and baby to learn about nursing and figuring out how to operate together.  Now we are mostly pros, we still have our shambly moments of course, but for the most part it is a great experience for both of us.  And when he calms down and is eating like a champ, he puts his little hand on my chest, grabs on or slides his fist in my shirt and it is such a sweet quiet little moment of connection that I am truly grateful for.

So those are my favorites for now, although I have a new perfect moment everyday.  Jackson is doing so great, learning and growing and becoming an amazing human.  Life is good in the Blinn house and next month we get to see our families and go on vacation! Here are some pictures of my favorite Jackson moments.

Mommies know best

I spent a lot of time researching items I thought I would need when I became a mom.  I looked at tons of sample registries, and most importantly I asked lots of moms.  Its so hard to know what you will actually need and use until you are a mom.  Even then, some of the things that worked for other families may not work for yours.  But I learned a few things, and thought I would share!

I registered at Babies R Us (BRU) and Walmart.  BRU because it has such a huge selection of baby items, and Walmart because it was closer to our house and you can get pretty much anything there.  So I'm gonna break it down by store, and then I'll talk about some products!

Babies R Us
Like I said, huge selection which is a great plus.  They are used to dealing with pregnant women, and have a sample registry list to look at, and they give you a gift bag when you register that has samples and coupons! You should definitely sign up for the rewards program, you get points for every dollar you spend (including gift cards) and then you get rewards dollars! They send the rewards to your email so you can use them in store or online.  They also have an "Endless Earnings" program.  Honestly I don't know how I got signed up for it and what the details are but about 2 months after Jackson was born I got an email with a gift card code for over $200! I think all moms seriously love free money to spend on their kids! The only complaint I have about BRU is that I have gotten several incorrect or damaged items in my shipments.  And when the closest store is 1 1/2 hours away thats a big deal!

Walmart
So Walmart is not my favorite store but we live in the middle of nowhere and that's what is close.  I would suggest registering at Walmart or Target or even Amazon, stores where you can get more than just baby stuff.  Getting gift cards to these kinds of places are fantastic because during a hectic, expensive time of your life its really nice to be able to buy or order whatever random item you need to make your life a little easier.

Things you should definitely register for!
-The Fisher Price Rock and Play Vibrating Napper.  Jackson loves it and so does mommy!  Its lightweight and easy to move, its super comfy for baby and convenient for mom.  Jackson is still sleeping in his, its great for babies with reflux because of the angled back that keeps their heads elevated.
-A play mat.  Which ever one you like!  It's a safe easy place to put your little one down where they can play and move around.  Ours plays music and has lights and things that hang down that Jack can kick and hit and look at.
- A Humidifier.  Especially if you live in a dry climate or have a winter baby.  It keeps their sinuses nice and moist at night so they don't get stuffy noses.
-A good stroller.  I love our jogging stroller, it has the bicycle type tires and it is so easy to push around. Unfortunately it is also pretty heavy and kind of a pain to get in and out of the car. (make sure you mess with it at the store first)
-Baby Carrier.  When you don't want to deal with the car seat and stroller or you just need your hands while you're holding your kid.  There are tons, we have the Bjorn, which honestly isn't my favorite.  I wish I had been able to actually try the different carriers with a kid before I bought one.

Things to skip
-Diaper Genie.  Its expensive, and big and you have to buy special bags to refill it and you have poop sitting around forever, and its only in one room.  We just use plastic grocery bags, we have a million of them, they hold enough diapers and you can tie them up to block the smell, and they are free! We hang them on a hook at the end of the changing station and take them out every day or so to make sure the nursery doesn't start to smell.
-Wipe Warmer.  This is just silly.  Your baby's bottom can handle a room temperature wipe.
-Fancy Bath Tub.  They are too big and bulky, and really you can tell if the water is too hot without a bath tub telling you it is.

Other Tips
Don't forget about you!  Which I pretty much did, until the last minute, and thank god for friends that had just had kids and knew what I needed!  Nursing pads (I like the reusable ones, they're softer) nipple cream, breast pump, storage bags, comfortable bras.

I'm sure there are a ton of other things I have an opinion about, but that is plenty for now!

Identity Crisis

It's been almost three months since we brought our little bundle of joy home and became a family of three.  I'm finally coming out of the fog of becoming a mom for the first time.  I can finally think of something other than feedings and diapers. I can finally start to be myself again, whoever that is.  Its so easy to kind of forget about yourself when you're pregnant, because everything is about the baby.  I have always believed that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. A philosophy I obviously followed while pregnant because taking care of myself was taking care of my baby.  But once that little one arrived, I definitely became somewhat of an afterthought.  So now its time to redirect and balance my focus.  And that ever controversial quest of "losing the baby weight" and "getting my body back" is at the forefront of this journey.

My goal is not to reach a certain number on a scale, I've never been one to weigh myself obsessively (although that changed during pregnancy).  Instead my goal is to be healthy, to be fit, to be strong and energetic, so that I can be the best mom for my little guy.  And if all being those things makes the number on the scale drop and make me look better in a bathing suit for our upcoming vacation, well then isn't that nice.  After being a second class citizen to myself I think I deserve the right to try and feel good about myself.

The other part of journey to the new me is learning how to be a mom without letting that become the only thing that defines me.  I'm still an individual, and a wife, and a friend, but how do I continue to be all of those things when mostly I just feel like a mom.  Moving to the desert and quitting my job was definitely an adjustment for me, and Jackson has definitely filled my days right back up.  Now i'm trying to figure out how to be a full time mom while still finding time for myself.  I struggle with being able to come out of "mommy mode" and be who I was before.  My sweet husband has been so wonderful and patient with me over the last few months.  He checks in to make my head is on straight, that i'm not sinking into an abyss of breast milk and tummy time, and he gives me a break when he can.  We are working on redefining our relationship as parents and a couple, because no matter what I thought before, having a child changes your marriage, in wonderful and strange and scary ways.  I'm also in a situation where I am making new friends, which happens with each new duty station and job and phase of life.  The hard part is, how do you get to know someone when you feel like you don't really know yourself?

I don't know if all new moms go through an identity crisis, but for me it has been the hardest part of becoming a parent so far.  I'm sure I will figure myself out eventually, i'm trying to turn this into a positive opportunity to reinvent myself into a better person.  But who knows what will actually happen.  For now, I'm pushing myself a little bit each day and seeing where that takes me.