Jackson Richard

The prince has arrived, and life as I know it has changed forever.  It's taken me a month to write this post because i've been way too busy staring at the most beautiful baby boy in the world.

So here's the story for those that are interested, or at least the basics of the story because you really don't need the exact details.  Friday, December 12th I went in for my 39 week appointment.  We had been in somewhat of a holding pattern because of my mild preeclampsia and a false call on being induced the Tuesday before.  So I knew there was a chance I would be admitted and induced, and then it happened! Its so strange to be sitting there, having my blood pressure monitored for the millionth time, everything seeming to be normal and then the doctor comes in and says, "i'm keeping you, ready to have a baby?" Well it was going to happen at some point right? So at 5pm they started with the drugs to induce labor, at around 9pm I went from having a mild contraction to having intense contractions every 30 seconds.  By 10pm they stopped the meds and started giving me IV drugs for pain.  At 11pm in my drug high but still crying from pain, the call was made to get the epidural.  I loved the epidural.  Jackson did not.  You know something bad is happening when the nurse that has been checking on you comes into the room with 3 other nurses/doctors and starts talking to you like you're in kindergarten, trying to keep you calm and saying scary medical things in a sweet sing-song voice.  Shots were given to try and stop my labor and get Jackson awake and moving and doing what he was supposed to do.  Then they told me to try and get some rest...which was a great plan in theory.  I wasn't really in pain anymore, my labor was progressing normally and it was after midnight.  But like I said, Jackson was not a fan of the epidural, so every 15-30 minutes for the next 7 hours I was rotated from one side to the other, to my back, propped up, laid down, you get the idea.  No sleep was had.  Around 7am my doctor came in and checked my progress and told me it was almost time! At 9am the work started and three exhausting hours later, the little man arrived.
The moment that every new mom waits for has arrived.  That first glimpse of your baby, the first chance to hold him and kiss him.  I didn't quite get that moment.  As Jackson finally showed himself, the doctor started talking.  Tell me that we would have to do things a little differently, I wouldn't get to have Jackson put on my chest, Mark wouldn't get to cut the umbilical cord, we wouldn't have that first moment as a family because my baby wasn't breathing.  Babies aren't supposed to be purple, and they aren't supposed to be quiet, Jack was both of those things.  So as exhaustion and terror are taking over me, Mark went with our little one as a team of nurses and doctors worked on getting him to breath.  Let me tell you, time stood still until I heard that first little noise. Just thinking about it now makes me emotional.  After two hours of tests, observation and being on a breathing machine, Mark finally brought our baby back to me and I got to hold him for the first time.  No mom should have to wait that long to hold her baby, but I would have waited forever for my perfect little boy.
Everything turned out okay, he had what they were calling a "difficult transition", and after 48 hours and normal results we were able to go home.
So that is how Jackson Richard made his arrival.  A little dramatic, and hard on us new parents at times, but I would do it all again if I had to.  Jack still doesn't like transitions, I've never seen a baby make such a fuss about waking up! But he is growing like a little weed, which is slightly heart breaking because I want him to stay that tiny little baby, but its also beyond amazing to watch him grow and develop.  He loves being sung to, little white christmas lights, being swaddled, and watching his daddy play video games.  He holds his head up like a champ, and when he looks me in the eye I get all weepy because he's beautiful and i'm his momma.  I spend every day falling in love with him, with my new little family, and my wonderful life.

Dear Pregnancy

As my time being pregnant is quickly running out, I decided it was time to put my feelings on pregnancy in writing...

Dear Pregnancy,

It's time to break up.  It's not me, it's you. You've got to go.  We've had some great times together and I can't thank you enough for those.  Getting a positive on that little stick, seeing our baby on the first ultrasound, hearing his heartbeat and finding out he was in fact a he, feeling him kick for the first time, and mostly every time after that; these are moments I will treasure forever.  True blessings of being a pregnant woman who is able to experience these incredible things.  Thanks for all that, pregnancy, it means so much that we were able to share those things.  But it hasn't all been heartbeats and flowers, and that's why our time together must end.  There were the first weeks of exhaustion and nausea, the not one but two glucose tests with all that blood work, not cool.  All those (ahem) stomach issues...seriously yuck.  At times, it felt like you were suffocating me, pushing all my organs around really messes with my breathing.  There's the weird little red dots on my chest, a rash because gaining almost 30 pounds isn't enough, really pregnancy?  All the jabs of little feet in my ribs, and lately the head buts to my pelvis, I get it, you're done too.  And then there's the H-word, hormones, yikes!  This break-up is especially emotional for me, my poor husband doesn't know if i'm going to cry or yell at him lately, and it's all your fault.  So pregnancy, we are done, I want my body back.  And most of all you've been hogging my little boy for 9 months and now it's my turn.  I will always love you, and someday I hope we meet again, but for now we're done!

Love,
Soon to be new-mommy Kate

PS. To everyone else, it's quiet time for the Blinn family as we await the arrival of our Jackson.  If you are lucky enough to be part of the Grandmother texting chain you will get updates along the way.  If not, you all get to wait for the super exciting instagram/facebook announcement once we are home with our little bundle.  We so appreciate how excited everyone is for us and we can't wait to share our joy with you, after we have kept him all to ourselves for a little bit ;)

The final countdown

We are one month away from Baby Blinn's due date!! Which mostly means this little guy can show up whenever the heck he feels like.  (Don't worry mom, I think he'll wait until you arrive.)  So the freaking out has been kicked up a notch.  Everyone says this is the time to sleep and relax and clean the house, all those things I wont be able to do once our little bundle arrives.  Well let me tell you, I can't really do them now either.  My body must be prepping for sleep deprivation because waking up 4-5 times a night and spending hours laying wide awake in bed has become the new routine.  Yesterday I tried to do laundry, after separating all the dirty clothes into three baskets and dragging the first basket out to the laundry machine, I had to lay down on the couch because I was winded and my back hurt...awesome.  My beautiful wedding rings also had to come off yesterday since they were trying to permanently fuse themselves with my poor chubby finger.  It took ice, olive oil, soap and not a small amount of yanking to get those things off.
So i've decided to take it easy for the next few weeks (not that life has been that taxing lately, but still) to prepare myself for the extreme life change that is headed my way.  I'm cherishing my mornings on the couch with my fur baby who is soon to be ignored.  I'm watching Christmas movies even though it isn't Thanksgiving yet.  And I am refusing to feel guilty about just staying home and being quiet in my house.  We have a dear friends wedding this weekend that we are so excited for, one last excuse to get all dressed up and be out as a couple.  Then its Thanksgiving, which we will spend with friends, and have a weekend full of Christmas prepping, getting our tree and decorating! After that we will be in December and on serious baby watch!
Today also marks the start of my weekly Dr appointments, which somehow makes it more real.  Still waiting for baby to flip, and I have yet to experience my first contraction so there is definitely some anxiety mounting. So far I have been so lucky to have a relatively easy pregnancy and i'm hoping Jackson will be just as nice to me when he makes his arrival.  I can't believe i'm almost done with this crazy stage of life, nothing will ever compare to some of the feelings i've had during this first pregnancy.  But man am I ready to meet little Jackson and become a family of three!

Generation Y Parenting

We are about 5 weeks away from becoming parents to our little boy, and as we get closer my parenting fears have started to shift.  I'm not as scared of the crying and the lack of sleep and knowing what my child will need.  I know I will figure it out, my "mommy reflexes" will kick in and I will be fully capable of keeping Jackson alive and happy.  My fears are now centered around how my son will learn and grow in our world of fast paced, technology obsessed life.  I'm realizing that in order to give my son the childhood I want him to have, the childhood I think he deserves, my husband and I are actually going to have to change our lives first.  We are part of the last generation that played outside instead of with video games, that got handed a puzzle instead of an iphone when we needed to be entertained, and used an encyclopedia at the library instead of google to do our homework.  And then as we grew up, so did technology, and now we can't believe how we survived without our handheld devices.  I am as guilty as anyone else, the TV is on most of the day, just playing in the background as a distraction, and my cell phone is hardly ever out of reach.  As a military family stationed across the country from everyone we love, all the technology can be a blessing to keep us in touch with everyone back home, and that definitely wont change once Jackson arrives.  Using my iphone to make sure my parents and in-laws can see their grandson is a blessing, and definitely something I am thankful for.  But other than that, the arrival of our son will jumpstart a serious unplugging in this house.

The constant noise of the TV will be replaced with the sound of my voice.  I plan to talk and sing to my son constantly.  I am my child's first teacher and I want to feed his little brain with as much as he can handle. Which won't include the overstimulating images that can cause a lack of focus and attention, which, lets be honest, most little boys have an issue with already.  My husband and I both have fond memories of playing outside, using our imaginations to create alternate worlds in our backyards, it would break my heart if my son never got to create those memories.  I'm pretty sure kids wont remember the video games they played, but I promise they will remember the refrigerator box that got turned into a castle.

I am getting the incredible gift of being able to stay at home with my son and I plan to use this opportunity to give him the best first years I can.  I am going to play with my son, I'm going to teach him things and take him places, and I am going to let him discover the real world.  I know that there will be times when my patience is short and the idea of handing him a phone with a game on it will seem like the only answer.  And maybe there will be times when that does actually happen, because lets be serious I am not going to be the perfect mother.  But I plan to try my hardest to give this little guy as much of a technology free first few years as possible.  There will be plenty of time for him to be a grown up, he deserves to be a kid for as long as he can be.

The Third Trimester

28 weeks in and a little under 12 weeks until the little man is scheduled to arrive, and I am caught between desperately wanting everything to be done and ready and for him to be here, and wanting time to freeze because I am terrified of how much life is going to change.  It's a crazy feeling knowing there is this imaginary finish line that is actually just the starting line for something much bigger that has no finish line.  Impending motherhood is making me very philosophical and wise...moving on.

For me this week is about appointments, and torturous ones at that.  I had to have another ultrasound to recheck some things, and as great as it is to see Jackson swimming around, moving his arms and legs and opening his mouth, I also believe that ultrasounds are designed to test a pregnant woman's will to live.  They make you drink 36 ounces of water and you CANNOT go to the bathroom for 2 HOURS! By this point in the pregnancy you've got about a 3 pound kid sitting on your bladder and kicking you whenever he damn well pleases.  And its the miracle of life and blah blah blah, but seriously I have to pee!  So the technician starts showing me all the adorable things my baby is doing and my darling husband starts asking what organ that little white blob is and everything is great because they aren't about to burst and don't have someone pushing gel around their belly with a blunt cold object.  Anyway, the appointment ended and I finally got to relieve myself and all was again right with the world.  By the way, Jackson has graduated from looking like a baby dinosaur to more like a baby monkey, and he was grabbing his toes and is just the cutest in-utero baby ever (obviously). Tomorrow the torture continues with my glucose test!  I get to go drink a bottle of syrup and then sit in a waiting room for an hour so that they can watch me and make sure I don't pass out or something and then I get to have blood work, yay! After that lovely experience I will get to go see my regular OB for my routine 28 week appointment and to go over the results of the ultrasound.

In other news, the numbers on the scale are climbing scarily high, although they say i'm doing great and am on target to be in the normal range. But still, yikes! The numbers are probably related to the fact that I have an appetite like a football player, I amaze even myself with my ability to eat.  Which brings us to the indigestion, a super fun symptom that makes evenings so comfortable.  To counteract all of that I am taking yoga at least twice a week and the weather is cooling down so I can go for walks again!! The break from the heat is seriously a god send because this mama was starting to get really miserable.  The mornings are now a gorgeous 65-75 degrees so I can spend them on the patio with the pup and my one cup of coffee per day.  Its sunny and there is a breeze and its doing amazing things for my attitude about this hell hole of a desert town that we live in.  My husband still thinks i'm crazy for one reason or another on a daily basis, but we are trying to fill our remaining time as a twosome with fun activities so that we can have fond memories to look back on in 3 months when we aren't sleeping or speaking to each other due to lack of said sleeping and all the crying and pooping we will be dealing with.  Also, both mothers are coming to visit this month to try and squeeze in a little alone time with their babies before the babies have a baby of their own.  It will be fun to have the grandmas here to see the nursery and help get us ready with any preparations and to enjoy some mom time.

Another fun little tidbit, I have been playing all sorts of music around the house for Jackson to hear and haven't had much response.  A few days ago, Mark was making a playlist for the gym and started playing 2pac, the kid went nuts.  Apparently we have a tiny gangster in our future.

It's a Boy!

A few weeks ago I got to have the most perfect little gender reveal party with my family and close friends and got to tell everyone that we are expecting a boy! Which means we also could start telling everyone that our little one will be named Jackson Richard Blinn.  We could not be more thrilled about this next exciting piece of the puzzle. 

Being back East was so nice for me, to be able to relax and reconnect with everyone that is so important to me.  My sister flew in from Germany and my best friends drove up from Philly to see me and it was so incredible to be around so many people that love me so much and are so excited to become Aunties (biological or otherwise) to Jackson.  

So now I am in full on nesting mode!  And honestly so is Mark :)  While I was gone he cleared out the room that was the guest room/office and will now be the nursery, he also did a little arts and crafts project for Jackson!  We've starting putting together furniture and all the other gear and we're working on decorating and making it a cozy little space for out little guy.  Our friends and family were so generous to us and are making it possible for Jackson to have everything he needs.

Tomorrow I will be 25 weeks pregnant and I'm getting more and more excited to meet our baby.  That also means that we are getting very close to being parents, which lets get serious is scary as hell!  I know that we will be just fine, this is something we have both wanted for a while and we make such a good team.  But its a little daunting to think about all the little details and decisions we are going to face.  We have become such a great two person team, and now we're adding a third member!  This is the most amazing journey and experience I have ever had and its just beginning.  Here's to staying positive and loving every minute!

half way there!

I am 20 weeks pregnant! I can't believe i'm halfway through this pregnancy already and that in 4 1/2 short months we will be parents! Things are definitely going to start kicking into high gear now. Today we went for our mid-pregnancy ultrasound and we got to see little Blinn again!  Mostly this appointment is to measure everything on the baby and take about a billion pictures of all its organs and such, but we also got to find out the sex!! Sorry its still a secret for now :)  Baby Blinn was wiggling like crazy but they were also hiding behind my belly button a lot of the time, so after a walk, poking myself in the stomach and trying to boss around my unborn child, the technician finally got the pictures she needed.  We even got to see little Blinn sticking its tongue out and sucking its thumb!

Next week I get to head back East to see all my wonderful family and friends and have a Gender Reveal/Baby Shower!!  I'm so glad that I will get to share a little bit of this crazy journey with everyone  we love.  Our wonderful friends are already starting to send us baby gifts and its seriously the most exciting thing.  I'm pretty sure the second I get home i'm going to want to set up the nursery and play with everything.  I mean 3 months isn't too early to have everything ready right?!

Also, for those of you that don't know, Mark will become an instructor after he graduates school in November which means we will get to stay in this lovely desert wasteland of hell for another 3 years.  (I'm trying to be positive I swear)  It's definitely not our first choice, it's kind of an awful place and we are so far from our families, but I will get to stay home and be a full time mommy to our little one which has always been a dream of mine.  And speaking of being half-way done with things, in October I will be half way done with my time as a Marine wife.  The countdown will be begin to October 2017 when we can finally move home!

So that's what is going on with us, trying to stay cool and anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little one!