Kickoff to 2016

I fell off the face of the blog earth for a while because we've had a wile few months. November was filled with family visits, celebrating Mark's 30th, the Marine Corps Ball, Thanksgiving, sickness and getting reading to move.  Then December was moving, more sickness, our baby turning one and a big trip home to see our families for the holidays!  Which brings us to January and 2016! And we're all sick again already, I blame 14 hours of travel across the country and a one year old who has no concept of personal space and likes to put things in his mouth.  Anyway, here we are, settled in our new home that I will dedicate a post to soon with pictures, and now we are trying to get back into some sort of routine.

But the real topic I wanted to write about was my son's new found toddler ways, my epic parenting win, and a serious ego check.

So Monday night I made some scrabbled egg cups to prepare for the week.  We hadn't been eating great over the holidays and I wanted to get back into some better habits. Also Jackson is starting to wean himself but isn't taking to cow or almond milk so I want to make sure he's getting everything he needs from his food. So I make these egg cups, that Jackson has loved in the past and they are packed with good stuff (eggs, turkey sausage, spinach, green onion, cheese) great easy way to get the kid to eat a good breakfast.  So Tuesday morning he eats a whole egg cup and a bunch of grapes!  Look at me! My kid is eating so well! I am super-mom! He does ok with his food for the rest of the day, cheese, a whole pear, avocado, a pouch with spinach and kale in it, yogurt, and a few bites of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Fast forward to this morning, I cut up some more avocado and another egg cup, while thinking smugly to myself that he will love this and have such an awesome balanced diet.  Well Jackson basically said a big old yeah right mom! He ate 1/4 of an avocado and 6 bites of toast with butter. He wouldn't touch the freaking egg! I'm a failure, and my kid is going to starve! Feeding toddlers is impossible! Thankfully about an hour later he ate most of a banana, two mini pancakes and half a box of raisins.  So maybe he'll live another day after all.

We have officially entered the world of toddlerhood, and I can tell its going to be a wild ride.  I will also do an update soon on all the perfect and wonderful things my genius child can do. But actually most days I feel like i'm living with a tiny Tasmanian devil who runs around throwing things, pooping and yelling in Chinese.

Promotions, Anniversaries, and first steps!

It seems as though I've been very busy with a whole lot of nothing the last few months, summer has a way of sweeping you up into a time warp.  Now that fall is here (the season, not the weather) I'm becoming busy with actual things but its making me much more focused and organized.  We've got some great stuff to look forward to in the next few months.  And we had a great thing happen last month, Mark was selected for promotion! So sometime next year, he will become a staff sergeant (E-6) which is so exciting! In part, this promotion means we get to move into a nice three bedroom house on base so Jackson and I can be closer to our friends and activities.  Mark really loves his job here, has worked exceptionally hard and has been given the opportunity to really thrive in his various roles.  I am so proud of how well he is doing and that he earned this promotion.

Next week, we will celebrate four years of marriage! I cannot believe how fast the time since our wedding has flown by. Adding Jack to our family this year has been a test and a testament to our relationship and i'm happy to say we still like each other most days.  Instead of gifts we like to try and go on a trip together to celebrate our anniversary.  This year we are heading to the Grand Canyon! I haven't been since I was little and Mark has never been, so it will be exciting to experience a beautiful new place together.  Our mini traveller will be coming along of course and I'm a little nervous about the 5+ hour car ride, but I'm trying to stay positive :) Stay tuned for lots of pictures!

And probably the biggest deal in our house lately; Jackson is mobile! In the last few weeks he has started crawling like crazy and walking along everything.  He also has taken his first few unassisted steps going between mommy and daddy!  Child proofing has happened and still I spend my entire day following him around pulling him away from things and saying "no".  It is beyond amazing to see him making these huge developmental leaps.  He also has started "talking" so much more! He has added consonants like B, P, and something that sounds like K or G or T, of course we've been failing miserably at getting him to say mama or dada.

So life is busy in a normal, happy kind of way. And i'm looking forward to that continuing in the next months.  After our anniversary, its Jackson's first Halloween then my parents will be back to visit the first week in November. Then its Marks [30th!] birthday and his mom will be here to visit, the Marine Corps Ball and Thanksgiving round out November.  Then somehow it will be December already and my baby will be one!  We've got plans to spend a bunch of time home with our families for Christmas and New Years and then hopefully moving on base when we get back!  I love Fall and the holidays that are around the corner, the weather is even starting to cooperate here in the desert! So happy fall y'all, hope its filled with happy things :)

Asking for help, even when you don't think you need it

So I had written this whole post about my recent eating issues with Jackson; how he seemed to be disinterested in nursing, and that I didn't seem to be supplying what he needed.  I had been filled with doubt and guilt and worry that my baby wasn't eating enough and that I should or shouldn't be supplementing with formula.  I thought all of this was relatively normal, going through frustrating periods where I felt clueless and helpless, all first time moms experience that right?  I thought I was getting the help I needed from Jack's pediatrician and the nurses and lactation consultants on base.  I thought I had the confidence in myself to know what was best for us and feel good about the decisions I was making.  And then I went for a walk with some friends.

So as with most mom conversations, it was all about the babies, so I started talking about what was going on with Jackson.  And these wonderful women started asking questions, and sharing stories, quieting my fears just by telling me I was doing the right thing and my kid was fine.  So when one of these women, who is now a new friend (weather she knows it or not), started talking about forming a breastfeeding group and a "mama tribe" it suddenly hit me that that was exactly what I needed.  I was going through this phase of motherhood, and doing everything I could think of to get through it, but I wasn't getting the support I needed, because I didn't know I needed it or how to get it.

My breastfeeding woes had started to improve a few days before that walk, but my confidence (which is half the battle) came back with a vengeance that day.  Find your mama tribe, even if you think you don't need it, a fellow mom might need you.

M. Thank you so much for being willing to share and listen.
C.  You are a badass breastfeeder, and I hope it rubs off on me.

A Very Merry Half Birthday to Jackson!

Dear time, please slow down. My baby is 6 months old! 

  This last month has been a big one for Jack, right after turning 5 months he finally rolled over, then about two weeks ago he started solid food because I just couldn't keep it from him anymore, he learned to fall asleep on his own, and in the last week he has started sitting up on his own!  He's getting so big and becoming so independent, which is such a proud and sad thing for a mom to see.  Its so crazy to look back at the pictures of him from when he was first born and see how tiny he was.  I'm trying to just enjoy each moment as it comes, and not dwell on the past or future.  His first year is flying by and I don't want to miss out on anything.  

I didn't do this monthly pictures this morning, and part of me started feeling guilty that they will be a day late.  But then I thought about our day, and realized that no one will be able to tell the difference if I take the pictures tomorrow.  We went out to breakfast this morning at our favorite spot in Joshua Tree, two different people commented on how sweet and happy our baby was and asked how old he was, and I got to say, "6 months, today!" and then perfect strangers shared in the joy of this little milestone.  After breakfast we walked next door to the farmers market and we bought organic fruits and veggies for me to prep for Jackson tomorrow.  We spent some more time running errands, walmart and the verizon store (for my new iPhone 6!) then home to lounge in the pool and spend a normal evening with our little guy.  

Like at the end of most days since our prince made his arrival, i'm tired and could use a glass of wine and some chocolate.  I'm also so content with my lovely little family.  I'm proud of us for getting through a day of no schedule and horrible naps, and I know that tomorrow Jackson will look just perfect for his 6 month pictures.  I spent today being a normal mom, tomorrow i'll be a pinterest mom, and Jack will love me just the same, which is really all that matters. 

 Happy half birthday baby boy, Momma loves you so much.

I "sleep trained" my son and I'm still a good mom

Its no surprise that there is a wide range of "mom-guilt" that first time moms feel.  We put a lot of it on ourselves unnecessarily, but recently, especially with the rise of social media, we are made to feel bad or guilty by other moms.  With phrases like, "Attachment Parenting" or "cry-it-out", moms are made to feel that parenting is black and white, you are either good or bad.  The thing is, the world doesn't work this way, including in parenting.  There are a million different ways to raise a child, and most of the time the kid still turns out okay.  Every kid is different and every parent-child relationship is different, so really there is nothing to feel bad about if you aren't parenting your child the same way someone else is.

I made a lot of declarations before I became a mom, things I would or wouldn't do with my baby.  Things that would make me the greatest mom, or make my kid the most perfect.  I'm not even 6 months in and a lot of those declarations have gone to shit.  I said my baby would never watch TV, but when its an hour away from bed time and i'm trying to make dinner and absolutely nothing is making Jackson happy, baby videos it is.  I swore I would make a baby book and write down all his milestones to keep track and have this beautiful memory of his first year.  So far all i've got is a ton a pictures and videos on my cell phone.  So I don't have a scrap book page for the first time he smiled or rolled over, I was still there, I don't remember the date but I remember it happening and it was perfect, because it was my baby that did it.

I breastfeed my baby because its good for him, and me, and luckily I was able to.  Do I think other people should try breastfeeding? Sure.  Do I care if you give your kid formula, whatever the reason? Nope.  If you want to breastfeed your 3 year old all day in public, go for it.  Personally, i've set a flexible finish line at Jackson's first birthday at which point he will get weaned, and I will get my body back.  And if you have an opinion about that i'd ask you to kindly keep it to yourself.  Because its a decision that each mother gets to make depending on what is best for her and her child.

So now onto the topic of sleep training.  Honestly I was terrified to even say the words out loud for fear of being judged by other moms or women that aren't moms and just have strong opinions.  But we came home from vacation and my wonderful little baby started waking up 5 or 6 times a night, mostly just to use me as a pacifier.  I knew he wasn't actually hungry because he had been waking up just once a night to eat for almost 2 months and was doing great.  So I started losing a lot of sleep, and my patience got lost right along with it.  Not only was he waking up a ton at night, he was fighting me for naps.  I was starting to resent this beautiful little baby and I was becoming a mother I couldn't let myself be.  So I started researching.  I couldn't imagine letting my baby cry-it-out, it seemed cruel for both of us.  But because I didn't know enough about sleep-training a baby, I didn't realize that wasn't my only option.  I needed to find a way for Jack to continue sleeping in his own bed, sleep longer and be able to fall back to sleep without nursing.  So I found the book The Happy Sleeper and it gave me another option.  Mostly though it gave me an education about babies sleep abilities and support, which I hadn't realized I needed.  There is some crying involved, because you're changing the way your child is used to falling asleep, but there are no feelings of abandonment.  The first night was rough, but he only woke up 3 times, so there was progress.  Night two it only took him 10 minutes to fall asleep, he woke up once to eat, and then woke up in the morning, happy and well rested.  And I was well rested, and could be the mom I actually wanted to be.  So why did I still feel guilty?  When I talked to people about how we were sleep training our son, I would literally tense up for fear of being judged.  Which, when I think about it now is slightly insane.  This is what is working for our family, and it has literally made me and my baby happier, it has made me a better mom.  And I know that, so why does it matter what other people think?

Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job, harder then I ever thought it would be.  Why are we making it harder on ourselves?  My new declaration is to stop comparing myself to other moms, to stop letting myself feel judged, and to judge less. My family is happy and healthy and I will continue to do what I think is best for us to keep us that way.  There's a Johnsons baby commercial that gets me every time, the one that says "you're doing okay mom". For me and for all the other first time moms navigating this scary world of parenting, you're doing great, mom.

Toes and Teeth and No Sleep

Jackson is 5 months old! I cannot believe how fast time is flying by.  I'm sure i've said it before(and will say it again), but this is my favorite age! Well parts of it anyway.  He is such a happy little boy! Smiling and laughing like crazy, recognizing people more and playing with everything.  He wants to grab absolutely everything, and then put it directly in his mouth, then throw it on the ground and start all over again.  He has discovered that his toes can go in his mouth as well, and he loves having his feet tickled.  He loves kisses, which is good because he gets about a million a day, and laughs like crazy when you give his belly raspberries. He holds on to our arms or shirts when we carry him around and he's starting to try and do little baby crunches to pull himself up to sit.  He "talks" constantly, always yelling and making noise.  we're going to be in trouble when he actually learns to speak. I don't know how its possible but i'm still falling more in love with my little guy every day.

The not so great parts about this 5 month milestone is that Jack is teething!  Its such a mystery to figure out what is going on in that little body of his and how to make him feel better.  But when he started chomping on fingers and crying like a dolphin, we figured it out!  Thank god for tylenol to get us through our sailing trip in the Caribbean! Also up next for us is sleep training.  After months of him only waking up once a night or not at all, he has started waking up 3 and 4 times a night.  He only wants to nurse to fall asleep and his napping is all messed up.  I don't blame him after traveling all over for 2 weeks and having his schedule all screwed up.  I've started researching sleep training methods, because i'm just not sure I can handle listening to him cry it out.  I know everyone has an opinion on how to get a baby to self-soothe, and i'm still working on mine.  We'll just have to see what works for us because we definitely both need more sleep!

I'm also spending the next few weeks reading up on making baby food! Next month we will talk to the doctor and then start on trying some different foods! I can't wait to see how Jackson will react to his first tastes of fruits and vegetables and i'm really excited to get to make them myself.  So its a month of learning and growing in the Blinn house and we are having a great time with (mostly) all of it!

Here comes Peter Cottontail

This is a year full of firsts for us as we experience the world as a family of three.  Jackson's first Easter was low key, but it was a beautiful day and we spent it as a family and with friends.  We started with brunch on the patio at what is becoming one of my favorite restaurants out here.  It's in Joshua Tree, the little hippie town, and its funky and the food is so good, plus they serve breakfast everyday until 2 which is like heaven for a brunch lover.  So after mimosas and wonderful breakfast burrito (with homemade, sausage, beans, and ranchero sauce yum!) we headed up into the park.

We have probably been into JT National Park about 15 times since we've moved here.  Mostly because there is nothing else to show visitors.  It has some nice hiking paths, and its free with our military passes, so its convenient as well.  And in some ways, its beautiful.  Its not exactly my choice of scenery, i'm much more of a water person than a desert/mountain person, but when god gives you lemons (or joshua trees in this case) you make the most of it.  We actually got some really cute family pictures out of the trip, and weather was perfect for a nice drive.

After our lovely drive we skyped with our families, which always makes us think about what our holidays will be like when we get out of the Marine Corps and move home.  Thankfully, while we are here we have some great people to share special days with.  So it was over to a friends house for a potluck Easter dinner, good food and great people are what holidays should be about.  I hope everyone had a very happy Easter!

ps. I made some killer mini cheesecakes that were super easy, recipe will be up shortly!